There is a significant gap in my knowledge of Hecate's history. What I can say for certain is that she is the real goddess from ancient Greece, that she did not originate in Greece, and that she was also revered in Rome under the name Trivia. The former and latter facts are well-attested, and a host of epithets for her existed in both Grecian and Roman practice. ​Of her origin, however, little is known for certain. Historians with an eye toward mythology debate a Greek, Anatolian, or Egyptian source for her cult. I am inclined to believe she is of Anatolian origin, as the Egyptian theory seems circumstantial and her personal disdain for the other Greek deities as thieves and upstarts suggests to me that she was incorporated into that pantheon some time after both she and they formed. This is difficult to argue without pointing to personal contact with her, however, so it it a matter I can only share with a limited audience.

Sergei is a member of that audience, and remains convinced that she can be traced much farther through history. He notes that some Christian sects associated her with the spirit of salvation and gave her limited dominion over the world; I have not yet managed to help him understand the limited respect Wikipedia has in the academic world, and neither of us has searched for more information on this particular claim yet. But using that, he claims that she shares traits with various minor goddesses, demons, and folklore entities around the world for centuries afterward. His certainty of each of these claims varies, but there is one he is absolutely convinced about: that Hecate is the Devil at the Crossroads that appears in folklore surrounding blues musicians. His case is well-made in this instance, and it does seem difficult for me to believe that she would allow anyone else to claim dominion over the Crossroads, even just as a term for a deal. Many of these accounts do, admittedly, view the Devil at the Crossroads as male; but I have seen her present as male before. I'm not fully convinced that she is this devil, but I also can't assume she isn't.

What I do know is that, by the time I met her, she had begun selecting witches from around the world for direct training. Her exact standards are unknown, as are her goals. I don't know how many witches she has selected or even if she is teaching us all similar material. I have met a couple others at the Crossroads, on rare events when she decided to have us there at the same time. Through these interactions and her own off-handed comments I have pieced together that she has not selected any male witches for her training. She seems to show no preference regarding trans or cis women, and at least two witches I've met at the Crossroads over the years have been nonbinary.

Her demands on me, at least, are high. She has made it very clear that she expects me to become highly skilled at seeing and passing through the metaphysical realm. The latter is a skill I have yet to learn, but she promises that under her tutelage I will be able to open portals between realms and across space, maybe even across time. I don't know why I was selected for this specific set of skills, but I am deeply curious about what I can learn of magic and the metaphysical realm by traveling in this way.

Her claims that she has authority over individual Anchors and Warlocks is of some concern. John didn't seem to have any knowledge of her, and she seemed ignorant of his presence in my apartment until I mentioned him. If she rightfully has the dominion she claims, shouldn't she know them? Shouldn't she at least be aware of them? If she doesn't have that dominion, what happens if and when she tries to assert it? I've decided to do more research on her, at least partly to find out if any previous Anchors or Warlocks appear alongside her. As much as I may doubt some of Sergei's attempts to connect her to history, it is the only list of places to look that I can access. It may be educational to explore those claims, even if only to rule them out.

She is served directly by a dog, a great hound usually with jet black fur and red eyes. She has a deep animosity for ravens and reacts strongly when they are suggested as a symbol of any of her domains. I have seen other animals in the Crossroads, but do not know how many serve her directly. She has other symbols that appear frequently in the Crossroads and our training sessions, most commonly the key and the torch.

She has three faces, or possibly three selves, that never seem to face the same direction. I have seen at least a dozen different forms that she may take; she is gorgeous in every form, and most of them retain her threefold form, her distinct musculature, and her eastern Mediterranean complexion. She is sexually active to some degree with at least some of her followers, though personal experience on the matter is limited to very few incidents. Her variety of forms prevents me from making any statement on common aspects of these incidents.

​I have not seen her since the night I asked John to shield me from her call, and at this point I'm beginning to worry that I will not see her again.

There was something off about the statue. I could feel it ever since I'd moved to town, like it was somehow...wrong, that it interacted with magic but not in the way it was intended. I couldn't shake the nagging thought that there was something that needed to be done, and I just knew I had to be the one to do it.

None of the rituals seemed to be working quite like they should, and I could remember nothing in Abuela’s teachings that could help me figure out why. There had to be something to the nature of magic, or the spiritual realm itself, that wasn’t covered by the rituals and practices I knew. I considered the possibility that other traditions had explored this aspect of magic, traditions where the basic maintenance of mystical energy was seen as something in which humans could participate rather than a purview of the gods.

I had spent seven months digging around in what I could find, and while some avenues seemed promising, nothing had produced fruit. I found a small magic shop, got to know the owners a bit, but when I asked if anyone knew anything about the statue they just gave me mundane history. I passed out last night surrounded by books and notes. As the information I had gathered bounced around in my head, trying to find a place to land, I was approached by a black dog, strong and long-haired with a glimmer of intelligence in its eyes. As my mind fixed on it, everything else seemed to melt away, until I felt I was standing with it in a real space.

"You wish to know how the worlds meet," it said, as though it were answering a question rather than asking one.

"Can you tell me?" I asked.

"I am a guard and a shepherd. My mistress gives answers." I saw now that the dog sat at the edge of a road which seemed to stretch on forever beyond it. The closer I looked at the road the more it resembled a river, but it never lost the sense of being solid. I turned back and saw a forest behind me.

"Is this a dream?"

"Does it matter?" I turned back to the dog and exhaled sharply to brace myself.

"Lead, and I will follow."

We walked the road for a long time, neither speaking to the other, with no landscape in sight. It seemed the road just existed, surrounded by void, and even the thought of looking at it for any length of time was painful. Finally, some land began to appear, empty but for rocks and craggy trees. Then we reached an intersection, where three roads met in the midst of a field, barren but for small plots of wild grass. Standing in the center of the intersection was a woman in a black, finely-tailored suit. Her black hair was in a tight braid riding her brow like a crown, and she held a torch that provided the only light to this place. When I tried to focus on the details of her face, it began to seem as though she had three, and I found it difficult to maintain the focus long. Her features were strong, bronzed, and I would later learn they betrayed an eastern Mediterranean origin. She had to have been eight feet tall, with finely-crafted muscles and eyes that burned with a restrained passion that almost hurt to stare deeply into. I felt my breath catch at her form and turned my eyes down and my attention to centering myself again.

"Welcome, child," she said, extending a hand as though to lead me further. I stepped slightly forward as the dog sat by her side.

"Thank you. Where are we?"

"The Crossroads. This is where all things meet."

"Who are you? Is this your realm?"

"I am Hekate, Goddess of the Threefold Crossroads, Lady of the Liminal Spaces, Mistress of Magic, Keeper of the Night and Its Ghosts. This is one form my realm may take." I shuddered at the title and took another hesitant step forward.

"I understand you have answers."

"Yes. If you will become my disciple, I can reveal the flow of magic itself to you." I looked at her hand, still open to me, but now I saw it held a key. I looked into her eyes and knew she could deliver what she promised. I took a deep breath before reaching out and taking her hand.

"If you will have me, Mistress." She smiled.

"I would not have invited you otherwise. It will be some nights before you have the answers you seek; rest, for now. We shall meet more in your dreams."

​I opened my eyes to daylight, surrounded by books and notes.

John and I talked less than I think he expected while out yesterday. It seems he's grown comfortable openly discussing these things in public, but I'm still a little wary. That, and talking about it made me recall what Alethea had shown me, and I'm still trying to emotionally process it all. It's hard to tell if John was unaffected, or if he was just pushing it aside to deal with the task at hand. I'm not sure which I'd prefer. The end result, however, was that he agreed to let me know if he finds anything else, and I'll try to come up with a means to help her move on before he leaves. His alleged knack for exorcism may be helpful, but I don't see how we'd both be able to do anything at the same time unless we're fairly far apart.

The black dog came for me last night. At the Crossroads, Hecate asked what I had learned about John. I tried to use his meeting Alethea to steer the conversation toward ways to help her, but She seemed largely unconcerned. This is the second night in a row She's wanted to talk about him. Given her previous statement that Anchors are her property, I'm growing concerned about this sudden interest in him. I should tell him, but I seem to have trouble remembering it when I'm talking to him. So here I am making a note of it, for next time.

For now, though, I need to get ready for the party tonight. We have a lot of work to do around the apartment before people arrive.

Went downtown with John and Jacob yesterday. It was fun, John and I got to explore a bunch of alleys and corners of the city that I never get to check out with anyone else. After everyone else went to sleep and it was just us on our couches, we talked for a while about magic. He showed me a book in his bag, he said it had various exorcism notes and a couple circles. I asked how that works, if he breaks magic and can't use it, and he explained that he seems to be able to push things out of the physical realm (or at least away from physical things), and he's not sure if that counts as magic so much as enforcing a world without magic. Which makes sense, I guess, if in a terribly frightening way.

How many people are there like him out there? Are they why magic is so hard to do? Did they create the divide between the worlds? There's stories that it wasn't always this way, that spirits used to walk among us so much easier, and that there are still places around the world where they still can. I was still sorting that out when I went to sleep, and my thoughts on the matter must have caught my Mentor's attention because I found myself standing beside my body and the black dog waiting for me. It was time to go to the Crossroads.

Over the years, as I've come more in touch with the element of water, this place has changed. It probably hasn't, not really, but I'm seeing it in a new way. The crossroads itself still looks about the same, but above us, rather than void or sky, is a great sea. It's like standing beneath the ocean, like really beneath it and not just in its depths, or maybe upside down above it. The shimmer of the water reflecting on the ground comforts me, makes everything we do so much easier.

"What troubles you, child?" She asked when we arrived. The dog went and laid down next to Her, as it usually did.
"I've--I've encountered someone who claims to break magic. Is that possible?"
"An Anchor." She remained silent for a moment, looking off at the distance, before her faces turned back to me. "You must be very careful. If this one is what they say, they 'ground' your world to physical laws. When Anchors fail to understand their purpose, they take and kill and destroy and never look back. Unchecked, they are a blight upon the world."
"What's their purpose?"
"The realm of spirits, the true world you've been learning to explore, has chaos, vibrant life, unlimited power flowing endlessly. But it also has structure, rules, a certain kind of order. The Two embody these traits for the realm. Anchors and Warlocks are liminal beings, and as such they are Mine to do with as I choose; but their basic function is to serve that balance. Warlocks bring the chaos of the spiritual world to the physical, Anchors bring the order of the physical back to the spiritual." She stepped forward and lightly touched my chin, raising my eyes to look into hers. I took a deep breath of her scent and focused on her central face. "But enough about that now," She said. "Be wary of this one, find out their intentions, but for now I have much to teach you."
"Yes, mistress." She smiled and drew back her hand, and we began.

When I returned, I found I couldn't get back into my body. She does this sometimes, to remind me that I do not rely on myself for the things I do. Normally, I would go into Jacob's dream, and ask him to wake my body, which tends to do the trick. But John was so much closer, so I decided to try him this time.