Over the Hedge
1 August 2002I gasped for air as she pushed the sphere into me, the world spinning wildly around. I couldn't concentrate on where I was or what was happening, and could barely make out anything but swirling colors and blinding light. I felt the ground under my hands, and as my vision began to clear I realized I had fallen to my hands and knees and was barely holding myself that far up. I felt Hecate's hand lightly grasp my chin and raise my face to look at her. I could, for the first time, clearly see her three faces. The crone, the mother, and the maiden all looked at me from one place, and it felt natural. She seemed to be the night sky given life, deep and dark and illuminated by the soft light of an invisible moon. Flecks of light, like stars, seemed to pass through her, but it was nearly impossible to identify them individually. I felt like I could fall into her, and somewhere in the great void of her being find my way anywhere I would ever want to go. I knew in that moment that the Crossroads was not where she lived, but a true expression of her self, a form that was both within and outside of her, where all things meet within a darkness that makes all visitors equal beneath her.
"What do you see, child?" "I think, if I could see deeper, I could see everything," I answered in a near whisper, staring at her. She smiled, then turned my head slightly until I could see the statue. I realized that it looked as much like stone as it ever had, the only thing here that looked the same, but beneath it flowed two great streams of energy. I inhaled sharply and rose to my feet. The movement of the energy was almost intoxicating, and as I walked closer I could see that they met under the place where the statue had been built. "Do you see them?" "Are those...ley lines? Is this statue a nexus?" "Very good." I felt her hand rest on my shoulder. "It was one, once. Look closer." I knelt and examined the base of the statue, and realized that there was a wellspring of energy rising from the intersection of the lines that was being blocked by something within the statue itself. "What's this blocking it?" "That is the remnant of a great work of unbelief," she explained. "There are things in this world that work against us, Jacqueline. The forces that erected the walls between worlds have not died out, they've only changed. If you are not careful, you will find yourself opposed by enemies who would see all the magic left in this world die. One such enemy was here, years ago, and what should have been a source of magic for everyone in this area has instead become a burden on those sensitive to what it was meant to be." "What can we do?" "I am here to observe. You are here to do." I turned and looked at her, concerned. "I...are you sure I'm ready for this?" "You're no ordinary beginner, my dear. You've been dealing with magic all your life, you've seen the true nature of the world, and you have power available to you right now that even an experienced mage would struggle to muster on one of the nights when the worlds are primed to collide. I have stacked the deck in your favor as much as I can without doing the work for you. This is your test. Free the energy, let it flow into the statue, then use that statue to share the magic with your world."
0 Comments
1 August 2002For a couple weeks Hecate summoned me, four nights a week, sending her hound to rouse me from my sleep and travel to the Crossroads. She showed me an entirely new perspective on magic, methods and avenues I never would have encountered on the track I was already on. The first thing she taught me was a brief spell, something simple with low cost, that would allow me to see over the hedge that divided the worlds. She told me the walls between worlds used to be thinner, and in most of the world didn't exist at all, until certain European notions pushed old ideas aside and enforced their will around the world. The hedge, she insisted, was a development of that sensibility, and so many of the old ways had failed to adapt to its presence that they were growing unreliable.
On the other side I was able to see so much of what I had always known to be true. The world of spirits, as Abuela had described it, was still intact; just farther away, less accessible, than she had been taught. Hecate condemned the Greeks who had stolen her from her people, and the cultures they inspired who ripped the world in two. She encouraged me to continue with the ways I knew, and to use what she taught to supplement the old ways or help them find their way through the hedge. The more I learned, the more the statue bothered me. It was becoming obvious to me that whatever was wrong with it was something I was growing more sensitive to. It was on this night, when the hound came for me, that I finally had some answers. We walked the same path to the Crossroads, but my mentor was not there. When I stopped to ask why, the hound continued down a different path, and I had to run to catch up. After another long walk, we emerged in the square under a full moon in a clear sky, the sharp lines of Hecate's features glowing in the silver light as she stood looking at the statue. For a moment, it was hard to believe she wasn't one herself. "You've been spending a great deal of time considering this monument," she said, not turning away from it but lowering her hand to scratch behind the hound's ears as it sat down at her side. "Yes, mistress. It's...wrong, somehow." She nodded, then raised her hand until it was open, her palm a few inches from her face, her fingers cupped toward her. She breathed out a line of shimmering energy, which pooled into a rough sphere in her hand. When it was about the size of my fist, she stopped and began rolling the ball around in her hand until it was perfectly round and glowing bright. She turned, finally, and looked down to me. "Open your eyes, child. Tell me what you see." I took a deep breath and went to check my pockets, to find I was holding a sewing needle in my hand despite never seeing it before. I clutched the needle, began muttering the ritual she had taught me, and as I neared the end I dug it into my left arm to draw enough blood to power the sight. When I opened my eyes, I could see the statue, cold stone with almost a complete absence of magic hanging on it. Most things have something, some trace of spirits interacting or magic that was stored in it some time in the past. This, however, was like it had been drained, completely dry in a way I couldn't quite explain. I tried, I fumbled over my words and pointed out the contrast with the rest of the square, but nothing I said seemed to hold the full power of how devoid of power the statue was. She stepped forward, kneeling down in front of me. "The realm of spirits has a depth," she explained, when her face was at the same level as mine. It was the closest we'd ever been, and I could feel my pulse quicken. "There is the border between the worlds, but there's also a distance away from it to each. There are things in your world, things so physically real that even we gods may have trouble discerning them. And there are things in my world, so ethereal that they look nothing like what you know and cannot be accessed without a source of true power. Do you understand?" I nodded, keeping my eyes locked on her. "Good." She brought her hand forward and slowly pushed the ball of energy into my chest. 2 november 2004I had the best sleep I'd had in a week last night, completely uninterrupted by ghosts or gods or anything between. Jacob wanted to talk about finding me in John's arms this morning, but I had brushed him off. He wanted a story I couldn't, and wouldn't, give him. Nothing had happened, and that was exactly what I was hoping for. When he wasn't around, John and I exchanged numbers so we could keep in touch about Alethea or other spiritual matters one of us might need from the other. I went with them to the airport to send John off, and now Jacob and I were on the L on our way back. I excused myself at an early stop, telling him I needed to look into something before work, and slipped out while he waved. I transferred to another train, which would take me closer to work and near a shop that sold ritual supplies. I didn't know what I would need, not yet. But the people there had been a valuable resource ever since I'd moved to Chicago, and the only people I'd met who knew anything about the Crossroads. Or, at least, had some notions about it. Sergei, who lived above the shop and ran it as much for somewhere to practice his beliefs as to make money, thought it was the same crossroads the Blues singers talked about, and associated Hekate with the devil who dwelt there. I was unconvinced, but had to admit there did seem to be some similarity in how seriously she took deals made with her. Deals that were, near as I could tell, always made at the Crossroads. He was still trying to convince me and would occasionally pull out a timeline he was working on to explain what happened to the old gods and what names they may have used through the years as found in assorted legends and folklore. Where he didn't know the English yet, he wrote in Russian and breezed over to get to what I would understand. It was always very interesting, but I was relieved to find his wife, Nancy, behind the counter instead when I arrived. She looked over the edge of her magazine when the door chimes softly rang. Her eyes lit up and she closed the magazine, setting it down on the counter as she stood from her stool. "Jackie! Where have you been?" She came around the counter and gave me a hug, then held her hands on my shoulders and looked me over. "Are you okay?" "It's been a hell of a week, Nan." I smiled at her as best I could. "I came by a couple weeks ago to prepare for the full moon, but I guess you were out." "Yes, yes, he told me you said hi." She let go of my shoulders and waved me over as she went to the couches where they do consultations. "What happened this week? You want some tea?" "I'm alright, thank you," I said, following her over and sitting down. "I have a little time before work. I just, I had a situation with a ghost." "One situation?" I chuckled. "Maybe I would take some tea. If you don't mind." She slapped her knees and then stood, heading into the back. "Nonsense, child! You're family." I leaned back on the couch, looking up at the shards of colored glass hung from the ceiling that spun slowly and cast the sun from the windows all over the room. They had always been comforting to me, a thing I could fix my attention on that was alive enough to connect with, calm and warm enough to ease my mind. The first time I walked into this store I was nervous, and lost, and just starting to look for any knowledge that I hadn't picked up at home. The slow, patient rhythm of the colors flowing through the room were what made me feel comfortable to stick around and finally ask for a little bit of advice, which Sergei and Nancy had always been gracious to provide. She returned with my tea and I thanked her, then began explaining the events with Alethea. I meant to give an overview, but found myself spilling everything, and I began to cry when I described the feeling of helplessness and distance when I was possessed. Nan scooted over and held me, waiting until I was ready to continue. When I finished, she rested her hand on my shoulder. "So, this Alethea, you have no idea where she is now?" I shook my head. She nodded, looking off into the shop. "Okay. Okay, this is going to be difficult, but we may have something for it." She got up and walked over, shuffling through stock and muttering to herself. I sat for a moment, then tried to take a sip of my tea and found it cold. I sighed and stood, walking over to her. "What are you looking for?" "It's a powder, mixed it up a while ago but haven't needed it really. If I did it right, it should hold a ghost in one place, which would hopefully give you a chance to do...something to help, I guess." "I have to find her first." "We can work on that. But we want to know what to do when we find her before he go charging in again, yes?" She was half buried in a cabinet by this point, yelling out to me. I leaned on the edge of the cabinet and lightly ran my hand over the display case on it. "We?" "Ah! Here it is!" She pulled out of the cabinet and leapt up to her feet, holding out a burlap pouch tied with twine. "Yes, this stuff, probably won't need all of it, just enough for a perimeter, really." I held out my hand and she set the pouch in it, then closed the cabinet and walked over to the counter. "I should pay for this and get going. I still have to work today." "It isn't inventory, just take it. But come back soon! I'll look for something we can use to find your ghost. In the meantime," she said, leaning on the counter toward me as I approached, "I suggest avoiding this new friend of yours, at least until you have an idea on what to do about her, okay?" "That'll be easy. He flew back to Pittsburgh an hour ago." "Good. But listen, if she's so keen on him, keep an eye out for people who may remind her of him. That might give you your trail." "Thanks," I said, putting the pouch into my bag. "I hadn't thought of that." "You haven't had time yet to think, dear. Be safe out there." She gave me one more hug and then sent me on my way, both of us waving as I went through the door. 1 november 2004It's hard to describe how it feels to suddenly be in control of your own body again, but it is a very distinct feeling and as soon as I experienced it I knew what it was. John was on top of me, his hand holding my jaw, our eyes locked together.
"Jackie?" "John, you...I thought you were going to do it," I answered. "Sorry," he said, practically jumping off me. He quickly grabbed my towel and handed it to me. "I couldn't let her see what I was doing, with the book you know, and it seemed the only thing that would work." He was looking away as he pulled on his pants. I sat up, pulling the towel tightly around myself and looking over to see the book that had been under my head. "It's...it's okay, John. Thank you. I was just scared, I guess, that you were going to-" I looked up and realized he was still avoiding looking at me. "I'm covered now. Not that it much matters anymore." He glanced over, then sighed and sat down on the opposite end of the couch. "It wasn't you. Sorry I didn't see it sooner. But I couldn't do it. Not once I knew it wasn't you." We sat in silence for far longer than was comfortable. "Are you okay?" he whispered. "No. Not really. But it isn't your fault. I'm just glad you could resist and had this book handy." "Well, resistance isn't that hard. It's just sex, right?" He gave me a weak smile. I stared at him for a moment. "What?" "I mean, sex, you know? It's fine, but it's not that big a deal." He waved his hand dismissively. "It's just a thing people do." "It's just--we'll want to talk about that later. I have a lot to process here." We sat in silence again, me hugging my towel tightly to my body and him twiddling his thumbs. The curtains were a mess, his clothes scattered around the floor near the couch, a pair of boxers torn in half. Papers that had been in the room were scattered everywhere, and even a few books from the bookcase by the TV were on the floor and open to random pages. I slowly picked up the notebook and looked at the symbols on the page. "You did it, you know. My notes were wrong, or at least they were for the wrong thing. That was for a demon exorcism, you changed it so it would work." "I remember. But how? And why did I stay possessed at all? Shouldn't proximity to you have prevented," I swung my hand to indicate the mess of the room, "all of this?" "Power freely given." I set the book down. "What's that supposed to mean?" "My dad was afraid, something he saw in one of his books. When he realized what I can do, he warned me that some of his notes suggested I couldn't break power freely given. I can't, without help, kick out someone that was invited to be there, I can't break a bond that was willfully forged, not without difficulty. Maybe when you gave her unspecified and unlimited power over you, you also shielded her from my...ability. It's why I keep my true name secret, giving it to someone is freely giving them a certain kind of power over me." "Wait. You have a true name?" "Dad has always been pretty paranoid. It's not that big a deal, a secret part of my name that was given to me at birth but not written on any records so my full name couldn't be accessed easily. It's not even on my birth certificate." "Clever. But I was able to cast a spell while...touching you." "I allowed it." "You can do that?" "Apparently. I wasn't sure, but evidence says so now." I chuckled and wiped the hair from my face. "I was weak," I said. "My mentor...she didn't want you to know, but she's been calling me every night the past few days. Always looking for information on you. I haven't been sleeping and that means Alethea was able to catch me off guard and I had already promised to help and this was all a big mess." "Look, we're both dealing with something new here, right?" I nodded. "So let's not beat ourselves up over it, yeah? I better start cleaning up. You should get dressed. Last thing we need is to have Jacob find us like this, I get the impression he already thinks we're sleeping together." I stood, slowly, bracing myself against the arm of the couch. I took a deep breath, then started walking to the bathroom. "I'm a bisexual Latina, John. Everyone thinks I'm sleeping with someone they know." He laughed, and as I stopped in the bathroom doorway and glanced back, I saw him kneel and begin cleaning up the papers scattered around the room. "Hey." He stopped and looked up at me. "Thanks." He smiled, and I slipped into the bathroom to get dressed. 1 november 2004Everyone was at work except John and me, and I decided to take the opportunity for a nice relaxing bath to recover from the party while he did some reading out in the living room. I was in there until the water cooled down too much to be comfortable, and was in the process of drying off when I felt a chill down my spine. I was alone in the mirror, but I could feel breath on my neck before Alethea's voice whispered in my ear.
"You said you would help me," she said. I tried to turn in hopes I'd be able to see her, but found that I couldn't move. I began to panic. "I did. What do you want from me?" "It's time." "Time for wh--" I hunched forward and grabbed the edges of the sink as I gasped for air. It felt like I was drowning, my lungs stung and my eyes were going out of focus. There was a growing pressure, cold and heavy, pressing on my entire body as if from under my skin. "I've waited so long for this moment," I could hear her, but it didn't sound like the voice was coming from behind me anymore. It almost felt like it was my own thoughts, but in her voice. "Ever since I saw Matteson at my death, I've known he was the key to fixing this." I tried to catch my breath, but it felt like it was being squeezed out of me. Instead of blacking out, as I expected to, I began to feel distant. Like I was moving away from my body, falling deeper into myself. I was still seeing through my own eyes, but from a distance, like watching a security camera from an office. I could do nothing but watch as I fell into a sense of peace and my body regained composure, stood, and smiled into the mirror. 31 October 2004We were a couple hours into the party, running a series of horror movies on the tv, when Jacob decided to point a house out to John. He seemed to believe that John's interest in the paranormal would make him interested in living in a place like that. John gave him a half-hearted "yeah, nice" and moved on. While we were out having a smoke later, I decided to poke at it a bit.
"So, you didn't like that house, huh?" He snorted. "That's some white nonsense," he said, laughing. "Which part?" "You won't catch my black ass around anything demonic if I can help it." "No? That too paranormal for you?" I asked, smiling and nudging him with my elbow. "Yeah, that's it," he joked, nudging me back. "Nah, but, It's just, I deal with ghosts because I have to, you know? I can't not interact with them. And I've grown to find all that stuff interesting, so I'm cool with a bunch of spirits. But demons? True fae? Absolutely not. They're too dangerous. My dad made sure I knew the difference." "Your dad deals with the paranormal?" "To some degree. He has books, some of which were handed down, some he got. I don't know what he does with all of it, but I know he does enough that my mom left when she couldn't deal with it anymore." He took a drag from his cigarette and looked out at the alley for a moment. "He's always made sure I knew how dangerous some of this stuff was, and that I knew how to handle it. I could probably hold off a demon, if I needed to, but it's rarely worth it." "What about gods?" "There's something beyond the spiritual realm, where souls go and never return. I like to think there's a decent god over there." "I meant more like, here. The gods." "What, you mean like Greek and Egyptian and shit?" he asked. I nodded. He shrugged. "Yeah, I mean, they're probably around. Can't say I'd trust them, those stories were not flattering." I laughed. "Why, you know some gods?" he joked. "Well, something like that, yeah." He shook his head. "I promise I'll be careful, okay?" I offered him my hand and he looked at it for a moment before shaking it. "Deal. Can't lose all the good nymphs in this world." 31 october 2004John and I talked less than I think he expected while out yesterday. It seems he's grown comfortable openly discussing these things in public, but I'm still a little wary. That, and talking about it made me recall what Alethea had shown me, and I'm still trying to emotionally process it all. It's hard to tell if John was unaffected, or if he was just pushing it aside to deal with the task at hand. I'm not sure which I'd prefer. The end result, however, was that he agreed to let me know if he finds anything else, and I'll try to come up with a means to help her move on before he leaves. His alleged knack for exorcism may be helpful, but I don't see how we'd both be able to do anything at the same time unless we're fairly far apart.
The black dog came for me last night. At the Crossroads, Hecate asked what I had learned about John. I tried to use his meeting Alethea to steer the conversation toward ways to help her, but She seemed largely unconcerned. This is the second night in a row She's wanted to talk about him. Given her previous statement that Anchors are her property, I'm growing concerned about this sudden interest in him. I should tell him, but I seem to have trouble remembering it when I'm talking to him. So here I am making a note of it, for next time. For now, though, I need to get ready for the party tonight. We have a lot of work to do around the apartment before people arrive. 30 october 2004Last night was the final night of the new moon, so Matt and I had gone out to the lake to meditate. A couple other people went for company, including John, who kept his distance to avoid interfering. He seemed tense afterward, though, and when I asked about it he expressed concern about the spirits kicking around.
The guy bringing our paychecks got there after I left yesterday, so I had to go back today to get mine. I decided to invite John, partly because he was nice to hang out with and partly so we could talk about last night, and he agreed. While he was getting his shoes on and heading to the fire escape, I went downstairs to talk to Matt. We hadn't had a chance to really touch base about our meditations afterward, and I hated to wait too long. I've been trying to figure out how the spiritual realm works, and my conversations with Matt tended to help. As a druid, his experience was generally a little different than mine, and the perspective gave my own experiences focus. I was planning to just go through a few thoughts with him, but he was pretty shaken when I brought it up. He explained that he had concerns about John, that having him there was enough to cause difficulty for the whole thing, and he wasn’t sure why. I realized we’d never talked about the idea that John was an Anchor, or asked him to avoid Matt during the event, so I had to sit Matt down and explain what I knew. That did not go over well, Matt wanted him out of the house immediately out of concern for what he’d do by staying, and I had to remind him that he’d only be a few more days. It took a good bit longer than I expected, and I finally came upstairs fully prepared to apologize to John for the delay. When I got up there, I didn’t see him anywhere, and I asked Jacob if he’d seen John. He explained that he just got in from the store, and didn’t know, so I went and looked outside. When I didn’t see John there, either, I came back in and checked the open bathroom, the kitchen, and the living room. There was no sign of him. I told Jacob to send him outside when he shows up, and went outside to wait. I lit my cigarette and stared off into the alley, trying to figure out how I was going to tell him that he’d caused a disruption last night. I was about halfway through my smoke when I heard a noise from inside, and then the door opened. I turned to see John walking out, rubbing his head and slightly limping. His eyes were huge, like he’d seen something. “John, hey, where have you been?” I asked. He charged over and grabbed my shoulders, staring wild-eyed at me. “I know what happened to Alethea!” I slipped backward, sliding out of his grasp, and took a deep drag. “Where’d you get that name?” I asked after letting the smoke out. “I saw her. I saw everything! I know what happened!” “...what do you know?” “It was abuse, Jackie.” “Her father.” “I...yeah,” he said, looking confused. “Wait, I thought you said you didn’t know.” “I did. Look, John, she was cautious, and she seemed to be hiding from you, and she asked me to keep things quiet, and everything pointed to keeping you in the dark. I don’t know what you did to see that, but I can’t have known that she would show you.” John turned away with a sigh, pulling out his cigarettes and lighting one. He took in and let out his first drag with his back to me before turning around. “Okay. Fine, I get it. But we’re both in this now. What do we do with this information?” “I don’t know. We’ll talk about it on the bus, okay? It’ll be here soon.” He nodded and we headed down the stairs and made our way to the street in silence. 29 october 2004Went downtown with John and Jacob yesterday. It was fun, John and I got to explore a bunch of alleys and corners of the city that I never get to check out with anyone else. After everyone else went to sleep and it was just us on our couches, we talked for a while about magic. He showed me a book in his bag, he said it had various exorcism notes and a couple circles. I asked how that works, if he breaks magic and can't use it, and he explained that he seems to be able to push things out of the physical realm (or at least away from physical things), and he's not sure if that counts as magic so much as enforcing a world without magic. Which makes sense, I guess, if in a terribly frightening way.
How many people are there like him out there? Are they why magic is so hard to do? Did they create the divide between the worlds? There's stories that it wasn't always this way, that spirits used to walk among us so much easier, and that there are still places around the world where they still can. I was still sorting that out when I went to sleep, and my thoughts on the matter must have caught my Mentor's attention because I found myself standing beside my body and the black dog waiting for me. It was time to go to the Crossroads. Over the years, as I've come more in touch with the element of water, this place has changed. It probably hasn't, not really, but I'm seeing it in a new way. The crossroads itself still looks about the same, but above us, rather than void or sky, is a great sea. It's like standing beneath the ocean, like really beneath it and not just in its depths, or maybe upside down above it. The shimmer of the water reflecting on the ground comforts me, makes everything we do so much easier. "What troubles you, child?" She asked when we arrived. The dog went and laid down next to Her, as it usually did. "I've--I've encountered someone who claims to break magic. Is that possible?" "An Anchor." She remained silent for a moment, looking off at the distance, before her faces turned back to me. "You must be very careful. If this one is what they say, they 'ground' your world to physical laws. When Anchors fail to understand their purpose, they take and kill and destroy and never look back. Unchecked, they are a blight upon the world." "What's their purpose?" "The realm of spirits, the true world you've been learning to explore, has chaos, vibrant life, unlimited power flowing endlessly. But it also has structure, rules, a certain kind of order. The Two embody these traits for the realm. Anchors and Warlocks are liminal beings, and as such they are Mine to do with as I choose; but their basic function is to serve that balance. Warlocks bring the chaos of the spiritual world to the physical, Anchors bring the order of the physical back to the spiritual." She stepped forward and lightly touched my chin, raising my eyes to look into hers. I took a deep breath of her scent and focused on her central face. "But enough about that now," She said. "Be wary of this one, find out their intentions, but for now I have much to teach you." "Yes, mistress." She smiled and drew back her hand, and we began. When I returned, I found I couldn't get back into my body. She does this sometimes, to remind me that I do not rely on myself for the things I do. Normally, I would go into Jacob's dream, and ask him to wake my body, which tends to do the trick. But John was so much closer, so I decided to try him this time. 29 october 2004There was no ritual this time, no blood, no candles. I laid in the water for a long time, enjoying the privacy, the time to think. There was a shift in the air recently, I could feel it, but for the life of me I couldn't see what to do about it. I was out and dry and putting my toothbrush back when I finally looked into the mirror and saw her standing behind me.
"Alethea." "You're going to help me." "What?" "You promised. You said you were going to help me." "Yes. I'm going to help you." "It's almost time." "Time for what?" "It's almost time. After all these years." "What are you-" I asked, turning around, only to find the room empty. I looked in the mirror again and didn't see her. "Time for what?" No answer came, and after a few minutes of waiting, I got dressed and returned to the living room where everyone else was playing cards. |
Image courtesy of ummmmandy's picrew.
AuthorThe blog of Jackie Veracruz. Boost on TopWebFictionTall Tales: Volume Two now available
Archives
September 2022
Categories
All
|
Story Blogs |
Resources |