Walls of Jericho, Part Six

The hospital room had a steady stream of visitors that started within an hour of my arrival, and around lunch it got a bit crowded so I slipped out to find the cafeteria. I was picking at my food, alone at a table in the corner, when Mandy slipped into the seat opposite me.

“You don’t look like you’re enjoying that sandwich,” she offered, pulling a bag of chips open.

“It’s…not quite what I was hoping.”

“Like, in terms of quality, or your emotional state?”

“I don’t know. Probably both.” I set the sandwich down and tested a french fry.

“You know, as long as I’ve known you, I don’t think I can recall ever seeing you eat something that wasn’t made by a chef.”

“I’ve gone to restaurants with line cooks, thank you very much.” I offered a smile, but it didn’t last. “But yeah, I don’t think I’d ever had fast food until John hit a drive thru with me in the car.”

“What’s going on with the two of you, anyway?”

“I don’t know. I haven’t decided.”

“Does he get a vote in this?”

“He said it was my decision, but if I wanted to work out what was going on with us, he was up for it.”

“And do you?”

I slid the tray aside and rested my elbows on the table and my head in my hands. “Yes. And no. Am I overreacting?”

“That depends. You’re gonna have to give me more to work with here.”

“I don’t think any of this is his fault, you know.”

“Okay.”

“But this world he lives in, it’s dangerous.”

“You live in it, too.”

“Not like they do.”

“No, I mean, exactly like he does. You don’t think these things only happen to people who get involved in it, do you?”

“I mean, doesn’t it?”

“Were you poking around with ghosts before your house got haunted?”

“Well, no.”

“Listen. If even half the stuff they believe in is real, it’s real for all of us. We’re all stuck with it, we all have the chance of running into some terrible monster or alien or something.”

“Is this meant to be comforting?”

“It’s meant to be realistic.” She set her food aside and leaned in. “The only difference between people like us and people like them is that they know what they’re dealing with when it shows up. Or,” she leaned back and crossed her arms, “they’re just crazy and it’s all made up and not relevant to our lives with or without them.”

“They’re not crazy.”

“Then they’re prepared.”

“Fat lot of good that’s done them! Go upstairs and look at Jackie and tell me how that’s helped her!”

“She’s still here.”

I buried my face in my hands and felt the weight of her words. “I’m sorry, Mandy, I didn’t mean—”

“You told me what happened to Rick. About this cult. He knew what he was up against, and he made a decision based on that information.” She leaned forward and jammed her finger into the tabletop. “Can you tell me he was wrong? Can you tell me it wasn’t the right call, in that moment?”

“No. I don’t suppose I can.”

“And if he hadn’t known? If he hadn’t thought they were bad enough to take that risk? What would’ve happened?”

“I…I don’t know.”

“Would it have been better, Alice?”

“No. I don’t think it would have.”

“Look. Maybe people who look into this stuff, like you and Jackie, find him, and maybe you don’t. And maybe no one else ever really knows the truth. But you’re alive, and Jackie’s alive, and Matteson’s alive, and God knows how many other people can go about their day with no idea about this cult, because he knew. And he acted. And I respect that.”

I lifted my face enough to look into her eyes. “Okay. I guess you’re right, but…I’m not sure how this is part of the same conversation.”

“I don’t think either of us can really run away from this stuff. Not anymore. If you don’t want to be with Matteson, that’s fine, it happens. But don’t make the mistake of thinking you don’t belong to the same world as he does, that you’re somehow separate from all of it. Don’t think you can just turn it off when you don’t want to deal with it. We’re all surrounded by the same ghosts—he just can’t pretend he isn’t. And maybe we shouldn’t, either.” She picked her chips up again and slumped into her seat. “Lord knows I won’t. I can’t”

I thought about that for a little while as we ate. “I’m sorry, Mandy. And you’re probably right. I hadn’t really thought about it like that.”

“It’s okay. Those of us without magic have to learn to think of it that way, I guess.”

“Or discover we do have magic.”

“What?”

“I…can I tell you later?”

“Yeah, sure. We should get back upstairs, anyway.” We gathered what food we had left to bring upstairs, cleaned up the rest, and headed to the room.

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