Memories, Part Four

When I returned to the living room, John was still sitting there. He looked like he’d cried while I was gone, and he was smoking another cigarette. I hoped he hadn’t been chainsmoking the whole time I was gone. I brought a book with me, and dropped it on his lap when I got back. He stared at it for a moment before picking it up and turning it over a few times.

“You know what that is?” I asked, standing in front of him.

“Uh, yeah. I do.”

“You know, I had to plug the title into translation software to find out what it was. But you, you can read that language, right?” He nodded. “And you’ve probably read it. And know full well that it’s a detailed study of various supernatural threats, right?”

“Yeah. I have. It’s less comprehensive than it thinks it is.”

“See, see? That? I don’t think you understand my position here, John!” I knelt down and took his hands in mine, pushing the book back down onto his lap. He looked into my eyes, finally. “I am diving into a complex and dangerous world, and so much, so much, of what I know and what I do and what I believe hinges on trusting you. You’re the expert, you’re my guide in this. You know enough about it to have informed opinions on the quality of expert texts. And I want to explore it with you! I want to explore everything with you! But it’s not just that I trust you, it’s that I have to trust you. I need to rely on you in this. And when you withhold information, when you don’t tell me the truth about the dangers we’re facing together, it makes it real hard to do that.”

“Alice, I…I’m sorry.”

“I need to know that you’re not holding anything back here, okay? I want to be able to trust you.”

“Okay,” he said. I gave him a weak smile, squeezed his hands briefly, then walked over to the couch to sit down. “Alice?”

“Yeah?”

“You know, the Hudsons are in this book.” He turned it back over, and flipped through the pages until he apparently found what he was looking for. “It was written shortly before Cromwell’s government came into power. Describes them as bloodthirsty dogs of the crown, committed to taking any steps necessary to protect England’s interests. Talks about them enslaving spirits from around the world and using them to boost the estate’s power.”

“Oh. I did meet some spirits who were…employed by the Hudsons.”

“Don’t call it employment.”

“Right. Okay.”

“What did they do to you while we were there?”

“Where are you going with this, John?”

“I’m not trying to accuse anyone of anything. I’m just saying, in order to be there for you, I need to know what your connection to it all actually is. And the night before we left England, something changed in you. There was magic in you that wasn’t there before, and a whole bag of magic items among your luggage.”

“You knew about that?”

“One thing I learned from my father was to always know more than I let on. I’m sorry I lied to you about that.”

“It’s okay. Um…okay. Well. My grandfather was supposed to be the Lord Hudson of his generation. But he, um, he disagreed with some aspects of the job. So he left the task to his brother, Michael’s grandfather. But when he left, he bound the family to a magical oath. The magic in our branch was locked away, and the English branch was forbidden to reveal it to us. But I found out on my own, and the spirits weren’t bound to that same oath, so they gave me a way to access the magic in an emergency. And Melinda gave me some items to use if I need them. Just in case.”

“Do you know how to use any of it?”

“No. Not yet. Jackie is going to help me.”

“You told Jackie?”

“I…yeah. I was going to tell you, I just hadn’t yet, I guess.”

“Okay,” he said. We both sat for a while before he stood and set the book down. “I’m not used to talking about some of this stuff. I’ll try to do better about that, okay?”

“Okay.”

“Do you trust me?”

“Yes.”

“Are you hungry?” he asked. I laughed.

“Starving.”

“Then let’s go,” he said, reaching his hand out to me. “We can do more of this later.”

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