2 August 2006
Matteson was awakened by a swift kick to his ribs. It wasn’t hard enough to do any damage, but enough to send him sitting straight up in his bed with his fists ready to strike. On the floor next to his bed was the faun, having just landed, glaring at Matteson with his arms crossed. The Anchor grumbled and laid back down.
“What is it, Kastor?” he muttered.
“What did I say, huh? Back at that Apple Trees place?”
“‘That girl is trouble,’ I said! ‘Something seems off about her,’ I said! But what did you do?” Matteson rolled over so his back was to Kastor.
“Can this wait until some other time? Like in Hell?”
“You decided to ignore me and get all involved with her!” Kastor climbed onto the bed and over Matteson as he carried on, plopping down on the mattress and leaning back against the wall. “What do you call it, dating? And then! And then you, the great John Matteson, who knows fucking everything, don’t notice while she’s using you and killing people who get too close to figuring it out!”
“What are you on about? Who’d she kill?”
“I don’t know everyone’s names! But I asked around, see. After she threatened me—which you never even checked in on, by the way—I asked around, and I found out that the ghost lady killed her friend, with the, what is it. The loud chariot.” Matteson sat up.
“Yeah, that’s the one!” Matteson’s eyes darted back and forth for a moment as he considered that.
“You have that on good authority?” Kastor nodded, and Matteson got up and began pacing around the room. “Shit.”
“You should be happy I brought this to you at all! After you blew me off and didn’t even bother finding out why I was avoiding you.”
“Why were you avoiding me?”
“That woman! She was going to send the Hound after me! I had to give her a year a day, that’s what we agreed, a year and a day I couldn’t come talk to you. So I tried talking to that mage girl, you know, and you could be a real pal and put in a good word for me there by the way—”
“She’s with Rick.”
“I’m not asking her to commit to anything, Johnny!” Matteson leveled a narrow-eyed glare at the faun, who ignored it and jumped down off the bed. “But I tried to talk to her, to warn you, but I couldn’t track her all the time, and when I could was usually around the house, but I couldn’t come into the house, and she wasn’t bothering to look at spirits out on the sidewalk or anything!”
“She said you got through to her eventually.
“Yeah, took her long enough to notice. Dryads notice me, Johnny! If I’m good enough for a dryad—”
“Focus,” Matteson grumbled, pinching the bridge of his nose. “What did you find out about her?”
“About?” Kastor whistled and jammed his thumb in the direction of Jackie’s room.
“Oh! The other one. Nothing you don’t already know, now. You know, I could’ve helped if you’d asked.”
“Well, I don’t know! Guess we won’t find out now, huh?” Matteson sighed and rubbed his face with his hands, then moved back to sit on the bed.
“Okay, fine. Sorry, Kastor. I’ll be sure to consider your words before deciding they’re wrong next time.” Kastor gave a single stern nod.
“Damn right. And don’t you forget it.”
“Yeah. Seriously, about the mage, just something positive, you know, you don’t have to try too hard, this body can do most of the heavy lifting with the ladies,” he said, striking a pose that he thought showed his good side.
“Kastor, look, I don’t think she’s interested, especially not while she’s in a relationship.” Kastor waved him off.
“Just, you know, just ask. And don’t worry, I know all about her and Rich.”
“That’s what I said. I probably know more about it than you do.”
“I was trying to get her attention! It’s not my fault she was otherwise…occupied!”
“Get the fuck out!”
“Yeah, yeah. See you soon!” Kastor slipped away deeper into the Realm, and Matteson laid back down on his bed.
“Shit,” he said again, softly.